And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Less talking, more tequila
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
