you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
