I'm lost and stupid without you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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