Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
