Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
