He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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