I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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