she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
