I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
