a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
