You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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