marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
