see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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