dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
