i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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