and you said cock pushups were impossible
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
