my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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