I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were trust falling into bushes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
