apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
