Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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