I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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