listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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