fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
