I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
