pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
someone owes me an orgasm
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
