Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's shark week go big or go home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
