just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
