uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
