Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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