Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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