she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
