omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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