Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
