I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
