I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
