so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
