I wish my penis had an off switch
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
