Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
