it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
