i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Porn is love you can see.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
