would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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