Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
