drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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