cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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