i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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