She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
