You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
