please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
