I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
