i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
